Glorious Details

“It seems that every joy that comes to one must have a grief to spoil it. It is so, but think instead, dearest, that every grief has joy to lighten it. Nothing in this world is quite perfect, nor quite unbearable.” - AN INFAMOUS ARMY, Georgia Heyer

“She knew the constellations but she didn’t care at the moment. She only cared that they were beautiful.” - NEARLY A MURDER, Beth Byers

“You will never be able to escape from your heart, so it is better to listen to what it has to say.” - THE ALCHEMIST, Paola Coelho

I have been a voracious reader from the time I first cracked the code in first grade following the lives of Dick, Jane, and Baby Sally. I believe my first grade primer was called FUN WITH DICK AND JANE. Every child who learned to read in the public school systems of Oklahoma and Texas trudged through the Dick and Jane series. Were the plot lines compelling? No, not even remotely, BUT I COULD READ.

The Season of COVID, which has now stretched through Spring and most of the summer, has been an opportunity to read even more than usual. I always have a book “in progress” and am constantly searching for the next one. Immersed in a murder mystery set in the English countryside, whether it be during the Regency period, Elizabethan times, on through The Great War and beyond, beats reading the present day news every single time. Spending time with Inspector Gamache in Three Pines is delightful. Joining the quest (repeatedly, because I love the book) in the dreamy landscape of The Alchemist is good for my mind and my soul. Reading is a pleasure, and not even a guilty one. Reading a good book for the first time is like making a new friend, but re-reading a book is the chance to spend time with a loved one who you treasure.

If you find yourself stuck and stupefied by what crawls across your news feed, pick up the three volume biography of Theodore Roosevelt by Edmund Morris. Realizing that character assassination, dirty tricks, and corruption have plagued every level of government in this country, regardless of party affiliation forever, somehow gave me hope that we can survive as a nation in spite of the dunderheads in leadership positions today. (Bonus- the early life of Roosevelt, his life before politics, and later, his friendship with John Muir and their realized dream of establishing America’s first national parks is incredible.) Full disclosure: I did not finish the third volume, which is very unlike me. The end of Theodore Roosevelt’s life was very sad, very depressing to read about and I just gave up trudging through the misery.

Another coping mechanism I have become aware that I am employing in the past few months is finding joy in details. Now, I am not a detail person by nature. I make grocery lists which I used to leave at home on the kitchen counter about half the time. Now, through the beauty and pervasiveness of technology I make lists on my phone which, unfortunately, is with me most of the time. The details of lists do not give me joy, but the details of my surroundings, things I might have not paid the the slightest attention to until recently, are truly glorious. Forcing myself to take a breath, to take a moment and really consider the grace, beauty, and significance of each flower on a scrubby little weed, the robin that is cocking his head to give me a bright- eyed stare, the background serenade of the river that flows in front of of the cabin, the constantly changing sky as the sun moves through the clouds toward the mountains, these sights and sounds displace the current events that plague and demoralize me.

Sunrises and sunsets bracket my days, whether I am in the vast, open spaces of West Texas, the gently rolling pastures and wooded areas of North Texas, the ever- changing landscape of the Camino in Spain, or the amazing mountains of southern Colorado. There is an unspoken promise in every dawn and dusk. No matter how uncertain the future seems, how deep my grief is, there is hope in those beautiful horizons. Look up! Never underestimate the power of a sky resplendent with storm clouds or stars to fill you with a sense of wonder.

While hiking the other day, it occurred to me that I am not finding joy and purpose in trying to make sense of the world that is presented on social media or my newsfeed. It does no good, serves no purpose, to try and unravel the mystery of why so many people who I love and respect are completely at odds with what I believe is just, and true, and beautiful. My decision to not engage, to not argue, to simply love others is what I believe I am called to do. I have tried and failed to determine what drives the choices other people make. I suspect that fear is a motivator, but that is just based on personal experience and observation. God help us all to make choices that honor and glorify Him.

In the meantime, I will seek out glorious details. I will revel in holding hands with a grandchild, gathering and pressing wild flowers and delighting in the results after several days of “no peeking. “ I will hike up a steep and rocky incline that makes sweat roll in my eyes and causes me to gasp for breath. At the top, I will survey the view below me and walk the ridge, following my dog, Lucy, who is game for any hike, anywhere.

Eating a Palisade peach is a seasonal flavor explosion. I appreciate every mouthful of sweet, juicy, aromatic goodness. The season is short, but Ed and I are on Team Palisade- we would choose them over Georgia and Fredericksburg peaches every time.

Spending time with friends on my porch in Midland, (being careful to spread the mandatory six feet apart), is glorious therapy. We talk, we laugh, we cry and we vent with no filter. Weeks go by between visits because we are separated by miles and responsibilities, but that doesn’t matter. Forever friendships can just pick up again whenever and wherever we left off the last time. In Colorado, other friends, no less dear to me, gather around our over-sized picnic table at The Stirrup, one of us at each corner. We can talk to one another about anything, everything, nothing. Such is the beauty of friendship between women who have walked through happiness and grief together over the years. There is no artifice, no pretense, nothing but support and caring.

Knowing that right this minute, on a river somewhere in Montana, that Ed is on the oars of his drift boat, The Deuce of Hearts, is a glorious detail that must be mentioned. July 2nd marked the fifth anniversary of Ed’s receiving a new heart. He is conscious with every stroke of the oars of the miracle that is beating in his chest. Never take the beauty of each breath, each step, each smile that comes your way, for granted. In the midst of death, of destruction, of hatred and confusion, there is divine magic all around us.

There are so many details in life that deserve our attention, our celebration and reverence. I only touched on a few in my own life. There will be more experiences to reflect upon, more gratitude to express, more undeserved grace to share in the future. Your glorious details are right there, within your heart and within your reach. Turn your attention to those blessings and spread your joy, your hope, your love with the generous spirit that God has given you.

Love and Grace,

Paige